The good news is 2012 marks the ending of my college life – at least undergraduate level – and the dawn of a new schooling atmosphere, the so-called career journey. I wish the year was just this simple.
In early 2012, things were extremely messy and overwhelmed, mostly due to academic projects (lots of them), a full-time job, blogging commitment, emotional conflicts to get a scholarship, and frequent leaves to some other countries, and partly social activities necessitated.
During this last day of 2012, I would like to spend some time reflecting about what 2012 has given me. The describing might take several tens of blog posts, so it’s best to find an overall theme of the whole story.
You read the title, didn’t you? “Disrespecting the status quo” is the theme, although appearing a bit up in the air blurry. Forgive and endure me, but do hear my explanation.
Status quo is the normality of everything. In my case, taking a full-time job during my final year of college was challenging, if not disrespecting, that status quo. Worth noticing though, the job was so much in leadership responsibilities.
Now, the term “disrespecting” might be the right word choice. After all, it takes a complete focus, years of experiences, and maturity (physically, socially, and emotionally) to hold a leadership role at an institution. Looking back, I almost had none of those. I guess I just disrespected the normality, or status quo of a 21-year-old, senior-undergrad, thesis-writing student.
The act of pushing normality forward was somewhat rewarding as tons of lessons are leant in the course of one year. Trust me, I have made countless mistakes, and been through immense hardship, frustration, and dilemma. I believe that’s how people grow stronger, professionally and personally.
However, it does have impacts on the emotional growth of mine. I feel I am ahead of where I am supposed to be at this point, and it’s not really a good thing. Maybe, it is.
I remember the joys of being just a normal young adult who would study, earn some money, have some fun, be carefree about short/long future, perfect the job responsibilities clearly given, and the list goes on.
I can still do these now, but it’s kind of awkward emotionally at times. I’m no longer as cheerful and excited about stuff as before. I used to be unable to sleep when I got a new gadget or the night before I traveled somewhere. I don’t know how to fix it. Tell me if you can.
One question would do justice on how I claimed I was ahead of time, emotionally: “How old were you when you have to sit down and fire someone in a higher age range than you, and maybe from other nationalities?” This is just one area of all the things I faced everyday last year. The stress, and the being emotionally broken.
I appreciate your reading of this summary of my 2012. I hope you have a better, more cheerful story to tell than I do.
But it is not to say that I hate my 2012. It has been a great year. Life is not all about emotional problems, is it?. Lots more, and I did rock them. Blogging was so much fun during 2012, for example.
Last but not least, happy new year. May the best be with you at all times throughout 2013. Tell your story in 2012 in the comment section.